What Do I Even Do?

Right now… I’m not even sure. I feel like I’m stuck in the sand watching the waves. Not ready to join them yet, and not ready to leave. I often wonder what I’m doing, what I’m planning. I’m not sure yet. I know I want to find pure happiness, I’m just not entirely sure what that is for me yet.

I wish I had something exciting to say about my day, and what I do, but it’s pretty normal. Actually I’m really not doing much right now. I’m not a morning person, so when I don’t have work I’m not up till 9. On days I do have work though, I have to get up at 6. I do not like mornings, I can’t think straight, and coffee does nothing for me. So I grab a breakfast sandwich and struggle through.

I’m currently working a 7-3:30 gig, and by the time I get home I’m exhausted, it takes a lot to keep me moving. I just want to crash and play games on my phone. I try to still get things done though. Be it; making a tasty dinner, working on an art project or doing some writing.

Without kids, and my two best friends living far away I don’t really do much. I’m trying to fix that, but I have a really hard time opening up to people. I started buying tickets for concerts again, I got a couple friends going with me. Some days I feel like I’m too nervous to live life, so I push myself forwards to do things I will enjoy.

I tend to spend more time than I really ought to be on my computer. I get so interested on what pinterest has to share, or I really feel like creating a new sim family. Some day’s it feels hard to pull back into real life.

I’m still trying to figure out what I want to do in life, and while I’m at this crossroads I find myself unsure even what the roads may lead to, where I want to head. I have an endless supply of drive within me, but I’m currently directionless. I often feel lost, I’m hoping more cards will fall into place, and I’ll finally get an idea of what I want to do in this vast multitude of experiences.

Image Credit This is day 15 of my 31 day challenge, stay tuned for more! Challenge Link

 

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